How Not to Date a Bear, Too! (How Not To 9)

How Not to Date a Bear, Too! (How Not To 9)
Second Edition
Stephanie Burke
All rights reserved.
Copyright ©2020 Stephanie Burke

"Unnnn -- that feels so good..."

Theodore Bazanov, Keeper of Heritage and second in command of the Great Bear Clan of Manitoba shifted his ass just so and groaned in pleasure he couldn't hide.

His whole body shuddered as he hit the perfect spot. He squeezed his eyes closed and prayed he wouldn't be too sore after, but this hardness, this thick mass... it was too good to stop. Almost there... almost there... almost --

"Ohh, look at what we have here --"

The lascivious tone made Theo's eyes open with a snap, bringing him back to a sudden and angering awareness. Snarling, he turned from the tree he was using to try to reach that infuriating itch in the small of his back, to glare at the --

What the hell?

It was female, that much he could make out. But she -- um... She had bright red hair that glowed in swirls and curls around her head, giving her an almost bloody halo in the noonday sun. Her skin was a strange orange-tan color, the shade of some old leathers he once owned. Usually not a tone found on healthy human skin. Her eyes were a vibrant, unnatural blue that seemed to have laser intensity.

Something in him recoiled at the sight of her, his flight or fight instincts taking a definite turn for flight. For the first time in his life since he reached adulthood, Theo felt like prey, and his bear didn't like it one bit.

He shuffled back, lumbering on two powerful hind legs, his black eyes never leaving the face of the she-beast who was moving closer.

"Come back, little bear," she wailed, waving her arms, her unnaturally large breasts not swaying at all with her movements. Then her voice got deep, an unmistakably sexual overtone taking over. "I only want to pet you."

Fuck, no, he thought before he turned tail and ran. There was only so much a male in his position was able to put up with, and degenerate middle-aged women were not part of the plan.

"I'm gonna get ya, catch ya," she said merrily as she gave chase. "And then I'm gonna eat ya."

Not if I can help it, his mind yowled as he sped up, putting more distance between him and the woman. How could she run so fast in five-inch heels?

"Come back, little polar bear," she panted, gaining ground. "I want to talk to you."

He doubled his speed once more. But the she-beast wasn't giving up. In her tight Capri pants and the red-orange lace tank top, she was gaining. She was moving so fast that her feet became a blur of crystal shoes and ten tiny lights from the red-orange toenail polish she sported. She reached out for him, her fingernails like black talons, and he suddenly broke right, hoping to dodge her.

"No fair!" she wailed, skidding to a halt, tossing up torn vegetation and soil. "Momma doesn't like her pets to play games." The bitch wasn't even out of breath.

Shaking his head in dismay, Theo raced ahead, using the small advantage his sudden direction change had given him to extend the distance between them. And still, she wasn't giving up.

"Frisky," she growled, bending low, almost like a cartoon character or an animated ninja as she ran, rapidly closing the distance.

Fuck this, his horrified mind screamed as he tossed off all pretense of a real bear and began to use his preternatural strength. His four paws pounded the ground, eating the terrain before him as he scouted for the best place to run and hide. He was on Clan land, so using his bear abilities wouldn't shock any of the natives.

"That's my bear!" he heard and looked over his shoulder, agog. The strange female was catching up... in her high heels... and her blindingly bright toenails.

He was so distracted by the sight that only instinct had him swirling around a figure that suddenly appeared before him.

He automatically dodged, nearly tripping over his hind legs as the man... beast... creature... mountie, his dwindling facilities supplied, jerked on his reins to control his rearing horse.

Oh, and what a mountie, Theo decided as he regained his balance. He was beautiful, his long black hair flowing in the breeze like in some Hollywood western. His thighs, thick and muscular, clamped together as he rose to stand in the stirrups. His ass was rounded perfection, and Theo could see the muscles strain under his tight red jacket. Dark brown eyes held his for an impossibly long second when the Earth seemed to stand still and...

"Fuzzy Wuzzy!"

The bitch was back!

He was about to pour on the speed and get out of Dodge when a deep, gravelly voice halted him in his tracks. "This is protected land. You do not belong here."