How Not to Date a Tentacle Monster (How Not To 10)

How Not to Date a Tentacle Monster (How Not To 11)
Stephanie Burke
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Copyright ©2020 Stephanie Burke

“I thought you’d be slimy.”

Peter stared at his would-be lover, confusion crossing his face. “What?”

“I thought you’d be slimy. I can’t help but think of all the tentacle hentai I’ve watched over the years, and there was almost always a lot of slime involved.”

“Lio!”

“Always so slimy.”

“Stop it. What is it with you humans and slime?” Peter couldn’t help the shudder that racked his body as his tentacles wrapped around himself as he tried to self-sooth. “You’ll give me flashbacks to Japan.”

“You were in Japan?”

At least he isn’t running away screaming, Peter thought as he peered at his boyfriend through what he knew had to look like a mass of flowing hair.

“And stop that. You look like Cousin It.”

Peter pulled his tentacles away from his face so he could give Lio a well-deserved glare.

“Ah, don’t look at me that way, Pud.” Helios gave him a nervous laugh. “I was just kidding, mostly.”

“I am not slimy.” He pointed out the obvious.

“Not yet --”

“I am never slimy.” Peter gave a delicate shudder. “And I don’t look like Cousin It. I just look like me.”

“Tall, darkish, handsome… Hmm, no wonder I couldn’t pick your race.”

“Helios!”

“What? It’s not important or anything, but I was curious about it. I mean, you look at me and see Asian… Wait. Is that why you are dating me? Tentacle monsters in movies flock to Japan. Are you a rice queen, Peter? Because I don’t play that game --”

“Rice queen? What game?” Peter was quite confused and was doing his best not to panic. Bad things happened when he panicked.

“You know? Dating me because I’m Asian. So many men think that just because I am Asian, I’ll be weak and biddable… or a kung-fu master, but mostly weak and biddable. Stupid stereotypes almost ruined my childhood. It’s one of the reasons I found it so hard to live here after my parents moved us from South Korea - --”

“Stereotypes?” Peter interrupted, growing a bit perturbed with his boyfriend. “Like all tentacle monsters are slimy?”

There was a moment of silence, rare silence, as Helios digested Peter’s words before a bright red blush exploded across Lio’s face.

Helios really was just so handsome. He was such a truly pretty man that Peter found himself staring in disbelief when they’d first met. Humans just weren’t that pretty. He touched on all Kartaplan ideals of beauty. His voice was smooth with no rough edges or breaks in tone. His normal body temperature was a bit above human standard and therefore perfect for Peter’s people. His hair was soft. Mind you, it wasn’t tentacles, but it was just as soft and silky. He was tall, which meant Peter’s tentacles wouldn’t get tired holding him up so they could exchange human oral body fluids when they engaged in the interesting activity that potential mates and mated pairs indulged frequently in… kissing.

“And I wanted to date you the moment I saw you, despite the fact that your racial origins began in Asia.”

“Hey --” Lio said.

“You wouldn’t be protesting had you understood the problems I had in that country.” He tried and failed to hold in a shudder of disgust and his tentacles reflexively wrapped round him again, protecting him from the memory.

“Hey.” Lio echoed his word and Peter felt gentle hands push through his primary defense to reach the skin of his face. He allowed his tentacles to be pulled aside and his face exposed. “Hey, it’s okay.” Lio’s second hand joined the first and they began to press soothing touches to Peter’s skin. “Don’t do that. Don’t hide away. I can see your whole body shaking.”

“Japan was --” Peter felt his eyes water as he thought back to those first few months on Earth. “I crashed there, you know.”

“So, you are from space?” Lio gently coaxed more of his tentacles away until Peter’s whole face was exposed. Peter dropped a few more so he could have a clear view of Lio’s perfect brown eyes. “Look, I’m not running away, see?” he spoke softly, his voice soothing to Peter’s ears. “I’m right here, Peter. And clearly you are traumatized by your time in Japan.”

“So many screaming girls,” he whispered, the memory nearly bringing him to the crying point.

“Tell me.” Peter allowed himself to be led to the couch as Lio’s soft hands pulled more and more of his tentacles away. He really had to stop thinking of his krill as tentacles, but the humans had been calling them that for so long --

Lio tugged and before he knew it, his krill were instinctively parting and allowing his would-be mate closer.

“There.” Lio grinned as Peter’s krill retracted from his body and instead rested comfortably against his back, except for the feelers that framed his face. They waved gently in the warm air of Lio’s apartment but didn’t cover Peter’s face protectively any longer. “There we go. Hello, Peter.”