Naughty, Naughty (Peppermint Twist 7)

Naughty, Naughty (Peppermint Twist)
Lily Vega
All rights reserved.
Copyright ©2014 Lily Vega

"Why do naughty girls get coal in their stockings instead of toys?" Zed turned the naked Darby doll in his hands, examining the beige plastic skin and perfect, pencil-eraser-sized breasts. He hooked a miniature stethoscope around the doll's neck and dressed it in a white lab coat, leaving the buttons undone.

"Coal is an incentive for people to try harder to be good next year. But it doesn't work for everybody. Take this one." Santa poked his pen at the list of names that curled and wound around the perimeter of the shop. He squinted at the small print. "Joy Lang. She's so naughty, I doubt there's hope she'll ever make the nice list."

"I don't understand. Her name is festive. How could someone named Joy be banned for life from the nice list? And what's so wrong with being naughty, anyway?"

Santa let out a deep belly laugh. "We're all a little naughty sometimes, but Joy is extremely naughty. She has quite the reputation as a party girl and is the star of a number of adult movies."

The idea of denying a famous actress a nice gift seemed mean. Zed bounced on his heels. "She's a movie star?"

"Never you mind, little Elf." The big man in the red suit rose and rubbed his enormous belly, which famously shook like jelly when he laughed. But he wasn't laughing. If anything he looked troubled. Or constipated. "When you're done with your shift, swing by the kitchen. Mrs. Claus baked those teddy bear sugar cookies you like so much."

Did Santa know his guilty pleasure of biting the bear heads off, licking the frosting and feeding the rest of the cookies to the reindeer? Zed stared at his pointy green velvet shoes. Maybe he, like Joy, wasn't capable of making the nice list.

Outside the window, fluffy snowflakes danced like drunken monkeys dumped out of a barrel. The North Pole looked like it was encased in a snow globe.

Once the tinkling of the bells Santa wore on his belt grew faint, Zed powered up the computer. He'd never rest without running Joy's name through the Yahohoho search engine.

Her fan page featured a photo of a beautiful blonde woman with milk chocolate eyes, candy apple cheeks, and red gumdrop lips. He moved the mouse to hover the cursor over the button to view a sample of her movie, Naked Babes in Boyland. Another glance around the room confirmed the workshop was empty. He clicked the mouse button.

Joy was back on the screen, but this time she was naked and on all fours, her breasts swinging like the pendulum on a grandfather clock. She licked her lips, moaned and reached back to touch herself. The camera panned to a naked, hairy man standing behind her. He advanced, slapped her ass and pointed his enormous penis at her like a missile.

Zed's jollyrod inflated, tenting his pants. He couldn't take his eyes off the man who was ramming his oversized rod into Joy's special place. Her eyes rolled back and her moans grew more frantic. Zed knew he couldn't compete with the giant's gargantuan member.

"Whatcha doing?"

Zed jumped at the sound of the scratchy feminine voice, grabbed the doll and dropped it on his lap to hide his erection.

Reindeer turds. It was Maisy, the girl Elf with the rat's-nest hair and bad attitude. Sure, she smelled like vanilla and had skin softer than anything he'd ever felt before, but she was so annoying. She twisted the candy cane in her mouth and he wondered what it would feel like if it were his rod she sucked on instead of the sweet.

She stepped closer and held out a wrapped candy cane. Damn, today she smelled like vanilla and peppermint. His favorite combination.

He swiped the candy while blocking the screen from her sight.

"Santa told me to tell you Mrs. Claus was baking --" "Teddy bear cookies. I know." He logged off the computer, trying his best to look like he'd had a legitimate reason for using it.

"Want to groom the reindeer? I can go get the curry comb." Her green eyes widened.

He followed her gaze to see she was staring at his lap. Where he held the Darby doll upside down and was poking at the doll's special place with the candy cane.

Brody the brown-nosed Elf peered into the workshop. Santa would definitely take Brody's name off the nice list if he knew what a bastard he was to the other Elves. "Got the dolls dressed yet, Zero?"

"His name is Zed, you asshat." Maisy tossed her candy cane and it shattered against the doorframe, raining minty shards on Brody's head.

"Do you kiss Santa with that dirty mouth?" He picked up a piece of the broken candy from the floor and ate it.

She scrunched up her face. "You're disgusting, Brody. I'm sure that was full of germs."

"It's yummy. Just like you."

Maisy pulled her hat over her pointy ears, crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at Brody. "Where are your minions, Dopey and Pervy?"

"Do you have a nickname for me too? You can call me whatever you like if you go out with me."

"I don't need a nickname for you, dumbass."

While Maisy and Brody bickered, Zed peeled the plastic from the candy cane and eyed the doll, an idea forming in his mind for the perfect toy for Joy, his naughty girl.